HANNAH KIVIRANTA

A Haunting 

(2018 - 2022) 

For years I documented my personal journey with an extremely painful chronic illness and disability; Endometriosis.

My series is an intimate look into both the physiological manifestation of the disease and the toll it took on my body, as well as the psychological torment that I experienced, routinely being dismissed by medical professionals.

For the last 15 years I suffered from cyclical pelvic pain. Despite being told countless times by doctors and specialists that I was fine, my pain became so debilitating on a daily basis that I lost all autonomy of my own body. I couldn’t shower on my own, I couldn’t walk to the bathroom, I couldn’t eat, and I would faint and vomit from the pain I was in. I spent more time lying on my bathroom floor some days than I spent sleeping in bed. I cried every single day. I was glued to my heating pad, consuming opioid painkillers on a regular basis, along with a cocktail of hormone therapies, antidepressants, nerve blockers, muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories, and a million different supplements and herbal remedies. I was suicidal because of the pain I was in and the lack of support I was receiving.

After flying to another country and seeking out a surgeon, I underwent extensive laparoscopic excision surgery and was diagnosed with Stage III Endometriosis, needing an ovary, fallopian tube & appendix removed due to the damage.

This disease has taken over my entire life. I was repeatedly told for years that I wasn’t experiencing the pain and suffering that I kept vocalizing. The mental anguish and turbulence that I went through was just as severe as the physical pain itself.